My people, gather round make I yarn una the real gist about Arlington’s Apple. Na the game wey fit make you waka go house with blessings or make you dey regret like pikin wey chook hand for fire to test whether e dey hot or like adult wey chop forbidden fruit. Today, we go break down the three methods of playing this game, their good and bad, and why you need your family and friends around to help you dey kampe. So grab your kurukuru and Zobo, and make we dive into this waka!
Method One: Save Arlington’s Apple for Last
The Good Things About This One:
- If you fit dodge all the wahala and keep the golden apple for last, na big blessings dey wait for you ooh
- The suspense go keep you and the audience for the corner of una seats.
The Bad:
- The tension go hike like say grabees dey march come your house to come deck you some blows after their sister report say you do am Shegè
- One wrong move and you fit open the golden apple too early, and come lose the big blessing.
The Yawa!
Imagine say you dey waka steady and your hand dey shake. You open one box, e no be the golden apple. You open another one, still no be am. But the tension wan choke you and your blood pressure dey boil and rise dey go 180. One bad move like this, and you don fall yakata!
Better to follow come with Friends and Family:
- Reason 1: Dem go help you coolie your temper and calm your nerves. Na dem go dey hand you water and kurukuru as you dey think your next move.
- Reason 2: If you finally make wrong move, na dem you go blame! “Ah, ooohhh na you talk say make I open that box oh!” See? Perfect deflection.
Method Two: 2×3 Move
The Good things:
- For this one, you get three chances to pick out two branded boxes for each round, to see whether that golden Apple wey dem dey call the Arlington’s Apple dey inside.
- You see those celebrity negotiators so? Them go dey offer you small small money after each move, so you fit still chop small change if you no get too much open eye.
The Bad:
- If you no come see the apple after each move, you go waka home empty-handed.
- The Celebrity negotiator money no too plenty, so Ojukokoro fit make you dey tempted to dey PlayOn.
The Yawa:
You get three shots. You miss one, you go dey sweat. You miss two, you go dey blow air pass your anus (better mense) and you go dey pray. By the third one, if you no find that golden apple, Opari, you go fit cry like pikin wey im biscuit fall for ground. And the negotiators wey you reject their offers go laugh dey and if chance still dey, other negotiators go come dey offer you small change like say na crayfish you dey sell. Chai! The devil is a liar! Better make we bind, rebuke, cast all those village people to the pit of doom before anything ooh! That one na first of all matter..Hmm! No say I no tell you
See, guy, better to Come with Friends and Family jèjè:
- Reason 3: Dem go fit give you morale boost. Na dem go dey shout, “You fit do am!” Na dem go dey blow you fan, na dem you go dey blast those mense for their nose and them no go worry! Them understand the love in sharing pass anyone
- Reason 4: If you miss, you go see who to blame. “Chai, na you talk say make I no collect that money wey that second fine celebrity negotiator offer oo!”
Method Three: 4×5 Move
The Good Things:
- You get four chances to pick five boxes in each round, and you must make sure say Arlington’s Apple no dey among dem. (Hmm! Me I nor know if this good shà but at a time e still good. So no lèlè)
- Namber two reason why this good, the negotiator fit dey call after each round with better money offers.
The Bad:
- You go need serious luck and strategy to dodge that golden apple TWENTY TIMES! You gerrit? Yes you read that one wella, 20x!.
- Namber two, the ginger and ojukokoro fit dey tempt you to push your luck too far. (Hmm, come closer make i tell you, village people get high chance to succeed here! So get sense guy!)
The Wahala:
You dey pick box like say you dey pick beans. One wrong move, and the golden apple go show face. If na method 2 you dey play, Òpe ooh! For other methods, if you dey lucky say the Golden Apple never show face, those them Celebrity negotiators dem go just dey offer you better money, but if you wan dey greedy, na your own be that. I mean, no one stop small pikin make him no grow teeth wey big pass am, sofar make him make sure say him get enough lips to cover am, because that your greed fit cause you waka home with nothing and cry bucket full. Na serious wahala.
Na why i also say make only you no waka come, e better to follow come with Friends and Family. Besides the other reason wey we don yarn before, to reason the matter more, na dem go dey help you count and calculate your moves. “Bro/sist, you don pick 10, remain 10 more!”
Last, last, the Wisdom of the Court
No be small thing to dey play Arlington’s Apple. The game fit make you laugh, cry, and everything in between. But no matter the method wey you choose, make sure say you dey play with your head and not just your heart. Sometimes, the best move na to take those them celebrity negotiator’s offer and waka home with small blessing instead of risking everything for the big one. Me i nor dey that ojukokoro category ooh. Because if you relate to me by blood or kind and you kòn get that kind luck to recieve the invitation to the royal playground, something wey millions dey pray to get, you come get am and go dull yourself, hmmmm. E better make you just stay there oo. Beg them for royal court there to give you one room and join them dey plant those Trees of Blessings. Otherwise, if you try am, carry your two legs, waka come house empty, the flogging wey you go chòp for papa and mama hand, no be here oooh! Infact, i never see the better thunder wey go fire you, e no dey! Because the thunder wey me sef i go for like make e knack you still dey carry weight! So na to better just carry you go somewhere for deliverance jèjè. 😃😃😃!
Make una no mind me jarè, edey pain nau, to just throway free money! Ha!. Anyway, as i was saying, remember, your follow come people; (friends and family), no be only for moral support ooh. Dem go fit help you think straight, and like i said before, help you calm your nerves, and even take the blame if things no go as planned. After all, na better excuse to hide your Greed wey no lead you to Glory, as you fit say, “Na my cousin talk say make I no collect the money!”
So, my people, go forth and conquer Arlington’s Apple. Get sense, borrow plenty if possible. Play smart, stay sharp, and may the blessings fall on you like rain wey vex pour for dry season. And if all else fails, no forget say you get who to blame. Hahaha!
Stay with us for more gist from the Royal Court Playground. Until next time, stay blessed, stay wise, and may the apples favor you! Asèè!!
